ME, I & MYSELF

Am sitting here at 4am with sleep nowhere in sight;
Mind full of thoughts and nothing in particular to point;
Past, Present & Future, Im comfused and torn;
GOD please show me the way; You said you'll walk with me;
Happiness is within, you've said; but what if within is nothing but void?
What I want, Who I want, Which I want, I know not;
Cos What I want Ive not decided, who I want u wouldnt let me have & which I want needs more time to be pondered upon!

My thought in 3 mins

Mes Regret

A morning that started with a call;
An abrupt end and dead went the line, anger being the cause;
Subsequent endless calls were later ignored;
"Call me please, I need to talk to you" came a message through SMS;
Determined I was not to reply,
Hours passed; the last unattended call,
Followed by an SMS that read "Please ans my call"
The sun set and night fell;
Today, at this time 2 years ago; you decided to end it all
If I had known I would never see you again;
I would have answered that damn call!

Seek Within Yourself

When an individual seeks fulfillment outside himself, he fails; if he
seeks it within himself, he is successful in obtaining it. The divine
principle within us is always accessible and always responsive. Pain is
felt only as long as attachment or aversion to outer forms remains.
Ultimate relief from pain can come only by the effacement of the ego,
by the elimination of that which reacts to one thing as pain and to
another as pleasure, and whose memory and conditioning sustains the
recognition of the dualities of joy and grief.

A Rose By Any Other Name......

If I Name my Blog "Cats & Dogs", is it necessary to carry that content in my blog or am I expected to write ONLY about cats & dogs?

Why does it matter to anyone out there what my interest is or why I named my blog a certain name?

Guess Which One Is Me

Can I turn back time.....

My Life Art Piece

Festival of Lights

A bright smile which is not mirrored by the heart

Ennayum Eduthuchel

Sirippu ennai vittu phoivittathu;
Sogham athan idhathai eduthukondathu;
Sogathukku kaaranam palavundu aanal
mukkaranam ondre aagum;
Athay yaaridamum solla Eyalavillai;
Thanimeiyil oridathil aarztha sinthaneiil
irupathu pazhakam aagivittathu

Ithuvarai ennai piditha manathugalai
naan paaramal ponathundu;
Piditha oru manam veroru
manadhukku pinnal povathai naan
thanimeiyil yosithu azhuthathumundu;
Ithuthaan kadavulin thiruvilayadala?;

Vazkhai oru thiraiarangam;
Athil naam anaivarum nadigargal;
Iraivaa ean intha vilaiyyattu;
Un aatam innum mudiyavillaiya?
Naan unnai vanagathathatku
ipperiya thandaneiya?
Ennai vittuvidu; avan irukum idathukey
ennai eduthuchel....

Kalyana Malai

A Song By SP Bala
Kalyaana Malai

Kalyaana maalai kondaadum pennae en paattaik kaelu unmaigal solvaen
suruthiyoadu layam poalavae inaiyaagum thunaiyaagum samsaara sangeedhamae

(kalyaana maalai)

vaalibangal oadum vayadhaagakkoodum anaalum anbu maaraadhammaa
maalaiyidum sondham mudipoatta bandham pirivennum sollae ariyaadhammaa
azhagaana manaivi anbaana thunaivi adaindhaalae paerinbamae
madimeedhu thuyila sarasangal payila moagangal aarambamae
nalla manaiyaalin naesam oru koadi nenjamenum veenai paadumae thoadi
sandhoasha saamraajyamae...
(kalyaana maalai)

koovuginra kuyilaik koottukkul vaiththu paadenru sonnaal paadaadhammaa
soalaimayil thannai siraivaiththup pootti aadenru sonnaal aadaadhammaa
naaldhoarum rasigan paaraattum kalainjan kaavalgal enakkillaiyae
soagangal enaakum nenjoadu irukkum sirikkaadha naalillaiyae
thukkam silanaeram pongivarumboadhum makkal manampoalae paaduvaen kannae
en soagam ennoadudhaan...

(kalyaana maalai)

A Message

Philosifur & Bon.....your blogs are not assessible and neither the links you have provided. That is only accessible to invited ones....Why arent your blogs accessible to public?

A Dream

Lately someone from my past has been in my dreams. When I get up in the morning, it feels so real and the feeling is very intense. People say maybe I was thinking about this person. Yeah Maybe.....so I decided to google it...

1. The ex-lover is thinking about the dreamer intensely, and projecting telepathic messages towards her which she receives in her dreams.

2. Incompletions with this person that need to be resolved within the dreamer before he is truly free to move on to a new relationship.

3. Similarities between this past relationship and situations now in the dreamer's life. Solutions to current difficulties may be resolved by the dreamer's remembering how he dealt with the ex-lover.

A Conversation to Nowhere

Mom : Lesh was asked to stand in the naughty corner in school tday.
Me : Lesh were you asked to stand in the naughty corner tday?
Leash : Yeah.
Me : Why?
Lesh : Because I hit my classmate.
Me : Okay...why did you hit your classmate?
Lesh : [silent & staring]
Me : Lesh why did you hit your classmate?
Lesh : I dunno.
Me : Did he hit you?
Lesh : No.
Me : Did he take your toys?
Lesh : No.
Me : Then why did you hit him?
Lesh : I dunno.
Me : Lesh can you tell me why.
Lesh : WHY
Me : [!!!!!]
Father: [Laughing]
Me : Stand in the naughty corner til ure ready to give me your reason.
Lesh : [stand in naughty corner]
Me : Are you ready?
Lesh : Yeah
Me : Is it right to hit someone?
Lesh : No.
Me : Then why did you hit him?
Lesh : I duuno.
Me : Lesh if ure not going to give me the reason ure going to be standing here. Are
you okay with that?
Lesh : Ya.
Me : [!!!!!]

I Forgive U

What we see is nothing but our own creation. The experience of the
world is but a projection of our mind and the reflection of our own
inner thoughts. As is the thought, so is the vision. The colour of the
glasses you wear determines the colour in which things appear to you.
If you wear red glasses, everything will appear red. If you wear green
glasses, everything will appear green. Pure thoughts make the world
appear as pure. If you view things with Prema (love), with a loving
heart, the whole creation will appear to you as a reflection of Prema.

Journey of a Soul

The Weekend

Response

I may be the product of my past, it has some truth in it. Depends on the way I choose to see it though......

I was reading a book which had a segment on cryonics and it sparked my interest, thats abt the same time I started my blog. As Ive explained earlier, the names chosen are my interpretation based on my readings and incidences that occured then and yes continuity being the baseline. Ive mentioned before that the title is NOT meant to hold its literal meaning, so pls stop questioning me and let me be.

I do have an interest and I would like to acquire the depth in that area at my own pace.....

If Only It Was That EZ.....

If it was that easy to let go, forget, forgive and carry on
PAIN would not exist would it?

People do what they do, disappear and carry on with life as if nothing happened.
Makes me wonder WHY & HOW they are able to carry on without having to think of the consequences. Why constantly talk about consciousness when you were not conscious of the hearts you've messed with nor the mess you created in their lives during and after? Why blame destinity when 25% it of destiny is made up by you?

Karma reffers to your actions and the effects of your actions in your past that determines your future. All men are responsible for their own Karma which determines their destiny. Have you been responsible for the effects of your actions?

The purpose of education is to create more consciousness in one. Wat is the use of educating oneself when the consciousness attained is traded with morals and values and has more adverse effects?

How will the past pass?

In the carpark this morning, was greeted by a parking ticket stuck to the wiper;
Damn I told myself, what a way to start the day;
Called my mum to ask wats for lunch, only to end up with a frown;
As I was thinking and making my way home;
Side tracked a little to some foot reflexology and a full body massage;
Was surfing the net and dozed off with Lesh by myside;
Only to be awakened by multiple calls to make plans for the night;
Got reminded of someone from the past;
Decided to have a solo night and a movie marathon;
Of course to the amazement of my friends and all at home;
You mean you are NOT going out today?!? Is what echoed for hours;
Perfect I thought, Just what I needed!!!
The movie was a reflection of my past;
Got reminded of a phrase;
"Im dropping my past and going with a clean slate;
If I get the answers Im seeking for and things go the way Ive planned;
I'll come knocking on your door"
The reasons given then for dropping the past is not what unfolded in the present;
How can the past pass without even knowing it is the past or the reasons for the pass? "Bachna ae Haseeno", a movie that brings forth the reality of present day love;
Partners do what they do, but do they realise the consequences of their actions?
The action by one, out of immaturity, fear or fun has an effect on the other's present and future......

"The past is over, there's no control over it;
You'll rectify the future only when you
Set things straight in the present"

Setting things straight in the present, requires one to ask forgiveness from the path taken in the Past. Only then, the journey in the present will pave a clear way to your destination in the future

The Void

Im sitting here thinking of what Im supposed to do next, my mind is exhausted and blank, so i thought I'll just pen down my thoughts. The morning has been hectic. Im looking forward to the break but the days that lead to the break are going to be crazy. The Australian currency has gone down. Just about the right time I was thinking but there are careful plans I'll have to make and tough decisions to take. The past 8 years Ive been telling myself I want to leave, but now that the time has come, I guess Im having second thoughts.

I haven't had the time to make the plans and decisions that Im supposed to make. Why am I working so hard; what exactly am I chasing after? Days go by without me seeing or talking to my family members. Tennis on sundays ensures I meet some of my cousins and of course the group that I meet up every weekend and my colleagues whom I dine and gym with on weekdays. This is my life and my parents have gotten used to me not being around or not attending family functions. It has come to a point that my aunts actually thank me for attending functions hosted by them!

My nephew has been enthusiastically waiting for my return at nights, my mom tells me, so yesterday I got home a little earlier (10pm), he was already in bed. I got him up and gave him the pirate set that I got him. He was so excited that got himself dressed in the items and started parading around the house. The little pleasure that Im able to bring in that little boy. Im gona miss all this.

I havent been following the finance news for the past week but Im aware we are hitting a recession. The letters Ive been receiving regarding my investments have nothing to be happy about. I guess the private sectors will see a sink in year end bonuses but as far as the Govt Sector is concerned, the drop will not seem very significant. On top of work I have my car to send for servicing (thanks to daddy dearest, he got that done), roadtax and insurance to renew, Im waiting for my agent to mail me the insurance offered by other companies, its not gona be any much different I suppose.....hmmm I think I need a PA!

Birthday Celebrations The Past Weeks

Gives Me The Bums....

Unnai Enni Enni Nenjam Uruginean;
Unnai Engengo Theadi Naan Odinean;
Pannisaithu Un Pughazhai Paadinean;
Nee Paara Mugam Ithu Niyayamo.....

The Voices Within

I can't; I do; U can;
Mad; Rash; Missing; Think;
Carry On; I can do this;
Don't need; Wana See; Stong; Brave;
Love; Not Deserving; Coma; Crash;
Leave; Alone; Life; Betrayal; Away;
Happy; Friends; Family; Forget;
U Must; Smart; Forget; Go away; Try......

THE Man In My Life

When I Get To Where Im Going

When I get to where I'm going
To the other side of life
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is close my eyes, spread my wings and fly

When I get to where I wish for
There'll be only happy tears in my eyes
I will shed the sins and struggles
I've carried with me all this life
I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love again, this time with no fear

When I get to where I dream of
Please don't cry for me down here
I'm gonna walk with my maker
And lay out all my WHYs
All my strugles & all my heartaches
And see if he has got a reply

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions noone has an ans
Why cant one just be true?

So when I get to where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace!

Why do people Lie?

Is there someone out there who has never lied in their entire life? I doubt so, unless of course it happens to a baby. My nephew is 4yrs old, the other day when I went to pick him up from school, with a straight face he denied to the teacher that he knows me. That poor teacher was confused and had to call my mom to verify if I was really his aunt. As we walked out of the classroom, he goes "Hello Athay". I looked at him and didnt know what to say. To him it was just a harmless little joke he was playing on me. He was unaware of the embaressment that he had put me through. Well he is 4 yrs old and wasnt aware of the consequences of his actions.

How about adults who lie? They are aware of consequences of their actions arent they? In Liar Liar, Jim Carey lies to his son about why he needs his son to make a certain wish. Is it right to say a white lie, one that doesnt harm anyone and is only meant good? How about people who lie for their own gains and in that process hurt others? Most of us would forgive a person who tells a lie and later makes a confession, is remorseful and sincerely apologetic. How do we forgive or forget a person who lies through his teeth, disappears, gets self righteous, continues to lie and continues to be pompous?

I guess everyone lies for some reason but the extent to which they lie comes into question now. Why lie when you are aware you are hurting someone? Why continue to lie when your closet is in the open? Why boast about what you did and be self righteous about wht uve done? Do you think that such a person has a high possibility of a psychological disorder?

Back into the Game

Its been 2 yrs since the last time we played tennis. Used to be a weekly Sunday event where the cousins will meet, have a 2 hr game and later head over to my aunt's place for lunch, TV and bumming, before we drag ourselves back home.

Everytime we get together there's so much of fun and laughter. My cousins and their partners are a great bunch to be with. Family gatherings never end without drinks and games. The gals always have a great time laughing at the guys, in their tipsy state, trying to defend and explain themselves when they are caught cheating during a game. They can be so irrittaing and yet so adorable at the same time! I love all of U!!!! Within a year im gona miss all of you.

Yepiii Indru Muthal Yepiii

Thanks Guys for making this bday a wonderful and memorable one. I was very touched indeed and I would like to thank all those who co-ordinated and all those who attended. Your company is what I treasure and it indeed will make my departure a more painful one.What will I do without all of you?!?

Resignation of our longest serving foreign GM (AIA Singapore)

In today's news it was annnounced that AIA's (S'pore) executive VP & GM, Mark O'Dell has resigned. Channelnewsasia states that he's joining a rival insurer overseas. He has been planning to resign for some time and his resignation has no link to the recent developments with AIG.

MAS (Monetary Authority of Singapore) reiterates that AIA has sufficient assets in its insurance funds to meet its liabilities of policyholders. Policy holders are still in queue to terminate their policies. AIA has announced that to date 0.1% of their 2.5 million policies in S'pore have been terminated. More than 1500 out of the 1.9 million AIG policies have been terminated in Hong Kong but the situation stabilised since. AIA has considered reinstating policies without a penalty charge imposed on policy holders.

Well Mark O'Dell ensured policy holders that AIA has enough funds to sustain and operate as usual; and two days later he resigns. I guess policy holders have their reasons for going on with their termination of policies even though they may be in for a loss.

Are we in for another Depression?

Some of us would probably vaguely remember our history teachers mention the 1929 economic slump, The Great Depression. Lately we have been hearing about the goverment takeover of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, Bank of America taking over Merill Lynch, bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers and the approx 62% plunge in AIG's share price. Investors are in panic and reacting by pulling out their investments. AIA had more than 2000 of their policies terminated. How much more is the market gonna fall and how many more financial giants are going to join the line? Are we heading for another Great Depression? Some banks are advising their investors to stay disciplined and avoid following the herd. Its no fun looking at my investments dipping and my heart sinking together with them. Lets wait & see wat happens!

ADHD

ADHD is a neurobiological disorder that creates a deflection in moral behaviour. Worldwide 5.27% of children and adolescents and 4% of adults are diagnosed with ADHD. The ratio of male to female children and adolescents diagnosed is 3:1 and in adults is 1:1.

The brain capacity of an ADHD child is much smaller than a normal child. Genetics, Envionment and Brain structure are some of the factors that causes ADHD. Persistance, Pervasion and Impairement are factors used to judge if a child has possible ADHD. if a child displays 6 to 9 distruptive behaviours, over a period of 6 mths, in more than 1 location, then he should be considered for a diagnose.

According to my lecturer (She's American), majority of the investors in Wall Street & Bay Street in Canada are diagnosed with ADHD.

Lecture is starting....i'll be back with my thoughts.....

My Little Rascals

The little ones who never fail to amuse me and bring out the child in me
Nephews - Cant live with them; Cant live without them!

A Quote by Edward Teller

A fact is a simple statement that everyone believes. It is innocent, unless found guilty. A hypothesis is a novel suggestion that no one wants to believe. It is guilty, until found effective.

You Crossed My Mind Today

A Song By Guns & Roses
Don't Cry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMypLiZwRtQ

Talk to me softly
There's something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've
I've been there before
Somethin's changin' inside you
And don't you know

Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

Give me a whisper
And give me a sigh
Give me a kiss before you
tell me goodbye
Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinkin' of you
And the times we had...baby

And don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

And please remember that I never lied
And please remember
how I felt inside now honey
You gotta make it your own way
But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now baby

And don't you cry tonight
An don't you cry tonight
An don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry tonight
Baby maybe someday
Don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry
Tonight

A Dive in Tioman with Aqueous Chronicles

Was in Tioman from 29th Aug to 31st Aug for the last lap of my Open Water Diving Certification. We were in Mersing Jetty waiting for the boat to Kampong Genting, the resort that we were going to stay. While waiting, we saw a body being carried out from the Jetty. We stood there struck in silence. The boat ride was 3hrs. It was already close to midnight. Sleep wasn't anywhere near. I was on the upper deck with a few of them. I climbed to the front of the boat and lay there in the open, gazing the stars and reflecting on life. The milky way was beautiful. I lay there starring at the stars, deep in my own thoughts while Mili and Chandran were in serious conversation with Brian, Marcus, Brandon, Sam, Mano and Wei Xiang lost in slumberland.

We had 5 dives, the max depth was 18m. Two dives were from land and the other three were done from the boat. The current was strong during the last 2 dives and I landed on the other side of the island during the 4th one. It was an entire new world down there, was nice playing with Nemo and having schools of fishes swim around me. Squid, Clams, Sea Cucumber, Ship Wreck, Car Wreck, Eel and Sea Urchin were some I came in close contact with. During the mask drill underwater, my mask gave way, Brain tried frantically to put it back and 3 mins later he signalled and asked me to ascend. I made it 10m up, without my mask.

We have decided to go again end of this month. Lets see how the plan go!