If Moving On Was That Ez

He has been asking me out for sometime but Ive been putting it off. D calls me on Sat to remind me that I promised to be out with him that night. Felt like banging my head, well at least I owe him that much. Didnt want it to be a date, so I asked my cousin along, she knew him anyway. An hour before the scheduled meeting my cousin backs out. He wasnt someone new to me, he's the same one who told my brother he would marry me if I was still single a couple of years down the road. He had bought the tics for Angels & Demons, my kind of movie. I totally enjoyed the movie, like how I enjoyed the DaVinci Code as well, but the book was better than the movie for the latter.

Movie ended, he suggested dinner and drinks therafter. He came prepared, there was another helmet secured to the back of his Super 4. I looked at him thinking am i supposed to get on the bike?!? This is where I miss my hero, if only I still had him! Dammit! When was the last time I got on a bike? Yeah 2001/2002, I remember J, well he is already married and has twins, we still keep in touch, sometimes laugh over the past. Last month, he said he regretted his decision of breaking up with me and his ego had stopped him from coming back. Wats the point of regretting now was my only response to him.

Now coming back to D, so I got on the bike, my hand on his shoulder and making sure there was sufficient distance between us,the tamil film scenes came to my mind at that point! Directed him to the coffeeshop. The night was good, we shared stories of our past, discussed about life, relationships, sex, men, women, the movie, people we know, indian mentality, etc and gave each others' perspective on each. Then he pops the question abt when imintending to get married. Told him ive given up on marriage and love, he probed further, then I confessed that Im still in love with my ex boyfriend and I cant forget him no matter how hard I try. Ive let him be and have refrained from writing or calling him (well i dunt have his number and not making any attempts to get it either), but he is still in every vein of mine and every day in my thoughts. He has asked me to move on, but how do I tell him that I cant. Maybe when one day he is married I will move on......"So are you thinking of reconciling with him" was D's next probe, how can I with a man who has already moved on, holding him back would be selfish on my part. As we were talking i received an sms from M, "Bought 2 tics for 1240 movie, angels & demons, would you join me please?" A married one bugging me. Ignored the message and continued with my converstaion with D. ITime passed, it was already 4am, he dropped me back home, during the ride he tried braking a few times along the road, well there wasnt a need to, but of course i held on tight and my cg never shifted! Sorry to disappoint u Mr D, Im only for 1. He saw me to my lift, I thanked his for the night and walked away.

If only moving on was that easy....I still love you my dearest gem downunder......