Back to Reality

It has been a great 3 weeks. Good company, great places, less crowded than where I come from, well people are not standing back to back in the trains at least.

Have been feeling real lousy, I think its the reality of an ending holiday and going back to the damn place I come from and facing the people there. I know I dont fit in there. Terrible headache Ive got since the morning. Hot shower helped a little but its back again. have so much of work to do but I aint in the correct state to do them. The headache is killing me. Maybe I should just head to bed. I love this bed, I sleep like a baby, though I get up very early.

V came over to pass me something, he was nice enough to accompany me for dinner. But for some reason he always snaps at me even without hearing me out. Wonder why he hates me so much. Why did he think I was getting at him? He has so much of hatred towards me. I was merely going to tell him, since he answers phone calls outside his stipulated times, why not answer the private numbers too. Even before I could finish what I going to say, he snapped at me. He feels bad that he hasnt seen his son. Well I hope he gets to see him real soon.

Have ensured the house is clean, swept it today and did the dishes. Packed all my things. He can come back to a clean home now. Appreciate him allowing to stay but I also feel very bad that he was on a couch all these days. But still wonder why he treats me like a disease. He ha never understood me and he never will. he is always angry at me and it puzzles me why. Well maybe Its time I disappeared from him, like I said he wouldnt care and wouldnt even realise that ive gone missing. Why does he hate me so much? Havent I always been there whenever he needed me? Everytime I see him I just feel like giving him a big hug, I can fall in love with him over and over again. He never fails to make my heart sink just like the first time I saw him. I love this guy, I know I do and he means alot to me. But for some reason, Ive never meant anything to him and thats sad. I love you V and I always will. Note to self: throw the rubbish tomorrow.