Sleepless nights

Its 4am, sleep is nowhere in the radar,
Thinking of where my life is headed,
This is not me I tell myself, for the 1000th time maybe,
"Get out of your depression", I get snapped at
"What makes you think I am depressed", I retort,
"Your face says it all & you do not care about anything" comes a reply
The rebel that I am I refused to acknowledge the truth
That day in July 2007, a click of a button that turned my life around
Many have walked in and out of my life but this one shattered me into pieces
Just as I picked up those pieces and glued that imperfect self
It was shattered yet another time just to realise that it will never be perfect again
New ones come into your life, but in that conversation all you can think of is the one who was the reason your life remains shattered til now
WHY you ask yourself, the answers you will never get from a 2 faced Gemini
The little lies that you tell, sometimes i wonder why even now you do
Please God take me away, as I am hurting those who love me while chasing after the love which hurts me