Sunday, October 31, 2010
Dreams
Sometimes you wake up after a dream feeling it very real. Sometimes you forget what you dream or at times you get up remembering ever detail of it. Its 4am now, what am i doing up? Well I haven't been able to have a proper sleep lately cos there is just too many things in my poor head. They say your dreams are merely your thoughts in your subconscious mind. But how is that possible when you have dreams that seem like more of a premonition? Well i never thought much of my dreams until they started happening like what Ive dream. Especially in the last 5 years with the guys I was dating. With guy 1 I dream that there was another girl in his life, and this was when i was holidaying in NZ. The 2nd dream i had about him was that i walked in on him while he was making out. The 1st came true when I called him and a girl answered his phone and replies "Im his girlfriend, who are you"? My reply was "Im his girlfriend too." And I did catch them in bed, just like my dream, when he was supposed to be at work.
With the 2nd guy I dated, I dream that i was calling him and a girl answered his mobile, guess what? It happened exactly the same even though when asked later he denied that he had even received a call from me. How is that possible when the dialled number reflects his number and time of call right?
Now with the 3rd guy, this is funny cos i never thought much of this. I dream that he was walking away with a girl names "K". So i told him about the dream and playfully asked him if he knew someone by that name and he goes, "yeah my ex girlfriend". Soon after he decides to break up, probably cos he got afraid, maybe she was the 'other' woman after all, I trust my gut feeling :-)
Now coming back to the 2nd guy I dated, well i was in love with him even after we broke up like more than 2 years ago. Well he entered my life again for his own gains and of course now that he doesnt need me anymore, has walked out yet another time :-), but strangely this is what Ive dream since we parted about a month ago. In the first one he is standing in the airport and as i was saying my last goodbye he looked into my eyes and asked "are you really going?"...I can still remember his look, tone and voice. 2 weeks after that, I dream that my family was embracing him and were very happy. I was puzzled and asked him why are they so happy, to which he replied "Because they know I Love You and that you will be happy with me". This guy has never said that he loves me, so even in my dreams I was surprised and I asked "You love me? Why did you leave then?" And the reply WAS "Because you are big for me!" I woke up and it was 6am. What d i make out of the last 2 dreams? I sure want them to come true, ok minus the "bcos you are big for me" bit but seriously him telling me "i love you" is no where near any possibility that it could have been in my subconscious mind.
Its been 2 weeks since I spoke to him, well we had a fight and I swore never to talk to him again for all the hurt he has put me through. But sometimes you wonder why you love this man so much especially when he has hurt you time and again. Im sure he has his substitutes, well if he can call someone in another country to ask her how to cook fish, i am sure if he wants me in his life, buzzing me in another state would be much cheaper :-)
People sure do come into your life for reasons...sometimes you just wish you knew what the reasons were, cos it would make moving on much easier...some are able to drop everything, relocate and start. And some like me keep hoping that someday the 'happiness' that decided to walk out of your life decides to walk back into your arms, this time for eternity :-)
With the 2nd guy I dated, I dream that i was calling him and a girl answered his mobile, guess what? It happened exactly the same even though when asked later he denied that he had even received a call from me. How is that possible when the dialled number reflects his number and time of call right?
Now with the 3rd guy, this is funny cos i never thought much of this. I dream that he was walking away with a girl names "K". So i told him about the dream and playfully asked him if he knew someone by that name and he goes, "yeah my ex girlfriend". Soon after he decides to break up, probably cos he got afraid, maybe she was the 'other' woman after all, I trust my gut feeling :-)
Now coming back to the 2nd guy I dated, well i was in love with him even after we broke up like more than 2 years ago. Well he entered my life again for his own gains and of course now that he doesnt need me anymore, has walked out yet another time :-), but strangely this is what Ive dream since we parted about a month ago. In the first one he is standing in the airport and as i was saying my last goodbye he looked into my eyes and asked "are you really going?"...I can still remember his look, tone and voice. 2 weeks after that, I dream that my family was embracing him and were very happy. I was puzzled and asked him why are they so happy, to which he replied "Because they know I Love You and that you will be happy with me". This guy has never said that he loves me, so even in my dreams I was surprised and I asked "You love me? Why did you leave then?" And the reply WAS "Because you are big for me!" I woke up and it was 6am. What d i make out of the last 2 dreams? I sure want them to come true, ok minus the "bcos you are big for me" bit but seriously him telling me "i love you" is no where near any possibility that it could have been in my subconscious mind.
Its been 2 weeks since I spoke to him, well we had a fight and I swore never to talk to him again for all the hurt he has put me through. But sometimes you wonder why you love this man so much especially when he has hurt you time and again. Im sure he has his substitutes, well if he can call someone in another country to ask her how to cook fish, i am sure if he wants me in his life, buzzing me in another state would be much cheaper :-)
People sure do come into your life for reasons...sometimes you just wish you knew what the reasons were, cos it would make moving on much easier...some are able to drop everything, relocate and start. And some like me keep hoping that someday the 'happiness' that decided to walk out of your life decides to walk back into your arms, this time for eternity :-)
Friday, October 22, 2010
A Leopard will never change its spots
You seek when your life is turned upside down,
An apology you send to the many you have messed with til now,
Only to realise later its the exact same for all;
What made me think you were genuine at all?
How can anyone be as selfish and heartless as you are?
The many stories you have spun to me til now,
Even for a pair of earrings im amazed as to how,
The liar that you'll always be to get what you want,
Seeking sympathy from women with your stories to all,
Why is it you always desire someone else?
Distance is what you want in the name of moving on;
I dont understand you sometimes; you seek for me when in need and down,
what happened to the rest of your ladies if i may ask?
Am I an easier target when they refuse to do your dirty job?
You seek forgiveness to clear your karma but,
a self centered, 2 faced, insincere person is what you are,
My instincts have never failed me, and sleep around you definitely did,
What is the real reason behind Sydney and north Sydney specifically if i may ask,
You can lie all you want, but i know you inside out just too well,
Why go to my friend to clear the mess you have created,
You know very well Ive let you go and move on like you want,
So dunt pretend like im holding you back, even if i was do u really care?
Aint I worth your time or effort? Run from me is what you can,
But the man up there is watching down on us,
A leopard will never change its spots will it?
An apology you send to the many you have messed with til now,
Only to realise later its the exact same for all;
What made me think you were genuine at all?
How can anyone be as selfish and heartless as you are?
The many stories you have spun to me til now,
Even for a pair of earrings im amazed as to how,
The liar that you'll always be to get what you want,
Seeking sympathy from women with your stories to all,
Why is it you always desire someone else?
Distance is what you want in the name of moving on;
I dont understand you sometimes; you seek for me when in need and down,
what happened to the rest of your ladies if i may ask?
Am I an easier target when they refuse to do your dirty job?
You seek forgiveness to clear your karma but,
a self centered, 2 faced, insincere person is what you are,
My instincts have never failed me, and sleep around you definitely did,
What is the real reason behind Sydney and north Sydney specifically if i may ask,
You can lie all you want, but i know you inside out just too well,
Why go to my friend to clear the mess you have created,
You know very well Ive let you go and move on like you want,
So dunt pretend like im holding you back, even if i was do u really care?
Aint I worth your time or effort? Run from me is what you can,
But the man up there is watching down on us,
A leopard will never change its spots will it?
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