You've Got Mail!

I received a mail this morning,
Am not sure if I should be happy or sad,
My heart sank and tears rolled down my cheeks,
My eyes glued to the first 2 lines in the mail,
At this point I felt like screaming my lungs out,
God Why are you doing this to me? Pls stop your game!
Wrote a 3 paragrah reply but decided not to send,
Whats the point I ask myself,nothings gona change on my end,
You be happy at least, I shall hold my words til my grave,
I hope ure happy with your decision and I wish you all the best,
I have the confidence that I will see u fly high in the sky!
Will always be your angel, think of me & I'll drop by.

Dreams of a Dreamer

Im always dreaming of you or him through u
When I'm up it seems like ive just been with you
Times have passed but you're still in my mind
What do you want me from me, what do you want me to do?
If this is a message it definitely ain't getting through
Anger, Depression, Silence, you name it, ive been through
Friends say ive maxed the scale of sadness
And life now should sail very smooth
Sometimes Im confused as to which one of you
Looks like Im speaking to both at the same time
One after another, you both still torture
Your body his voice, his body your voice
With or without ure still making me go crazy
I want to tell but apparently he wants to start all over
But I dont understand how this would even interfere
Why is it that I hold both of you still so dear?

Goodbye My Hero

You've been with me through the toughest of times
You've seen be cry, laugh & jump with joy
Day & Night I was dependent only on you
Rain or Shine You were there readily mine
Life without you is gona be tough
But what has to be done, has to be done
U cant come along with me across the ocean
You'll always be the missing jigsaw in my life
Memories of you will never fade
You've embraced the most important people in my life
Who else knows me better than you
Goodbye My Hero, I'll always miss you
Hugs & Kisses, this is the last from me to you!

Missing U

Missing You
By Backstreet Boys

Oh baby, im missing you
We used to luv so stong
Tell me, where did we go wrong
Oh baby, im missing you
They say i'll learn to forget
But it sure aint happened yet

Ive been checking out the places where we used to go
And looking for your face inside the crowd
Ive been talking to the people that we used to know
But nobody wants to say where you hang out
And when i call your phone
Seems like your never ever home
And you dont return my calls
It tears me apart, this breaking of my heart

~chorus~

I still have your pictures hung around my room
Theyre the only thing thats left of you and me
Boy want can i do to make you come back soon
And make it just the way it used to be
Oh, is there someone new
Can never go on without you
Boy i dont wanna think about ~ think about this~
I cant sleep at night, no this cant be right
Come back into my life ~come back baby come back~

~chorus~

I know theres a chance for you and i
And i believe theres no way our love could die
So no matter how long it takes ill wait for you
And whatever it takes ill be there for you
Ill be there, ill be there

~chorus~ repeat

Against The Flow.......Mission Thriple M

Friends and family have had a fair share of my disappearances and re-appearances the past few years, all too familiar with my aburupt "Guys I wont be around for a couple of weeks, I'll see you when I return" emails and smses.

Making decisions has never been this tough in my 32 years, I'm said never to conform to the norms but this time while trying to make the 'Best' choice, I'm forced to weigh all the options available and take calculated risks. Never has leaving the country been so difficult for me.

Im stepping foot on the very city that I left two times in tears in a span of 10 years. A familiar city that I challenged myself to embrace yet another time. Im leaving my job, my family, my friends, my students and many memories of my journey of life which has shaped me to what I am today.

Its a challenge for myself to face my innermost fears and break free from them so that one day I will be able to look up into the sky and scream "I AM FINALLY HAPPY"!!!!! With nothing but my savings and a suitcase of neccessities I'll be leaving my homeland, a city in which I had my fair share of ups and downs. I have nothing awaiting me and yet it feels right somehow.

Ive asked myself many times if this is just an escape route I'm taking. Ive no answer to that like many other answes I never had and Im still seeking for. I am dropping everything and going with my heart, yea just like that. The advice from my management, friends and family have fallen into deaf years. Im leaving with absolutely nothing to hold me back. I will live, happily in the very city that made me creep into silence for a very long time! This is not a new beiginning but a continuation to the unfinished chapter in my life, Mission Triple M I call It! Ha!