Too many sleepless nights, the ceiling at most times is a witness to my gaze
Memories of us in each others' arms, your first touch and kiss in the east,
Mails from your gals ive read over and over, memories of your lies and deceit ive run through in my head forever, non seem to seep through to erase memories so dear
What do I do and how long more I know not, no light at the end of the tunnel
It knows of your ignorance and yet it seeks for you, no words has let to its stop
What do I tell, that you want it no more? That you want to seek elsewhere, that you find happiness in someone else's arms? That you care too less of its existance?
It listens not to any, it has its own beat and synchs with the mind no more
Have you never wondered how I am or what im doing? Am I not in your friends lise, have you not thought of me a sec? Can you hear my plead with GOD, do you feel the vibration of my voice calling out for you, can you feel the hotness of my tears? Do you know that I want you back in my life so much, do you know that you're the only one I'll love and want to be with till eternity? Tell me what to tell cos Ive no words to describe my pain no more, my voice you wunt hear either, it hurts to know that you find happiness in keeping me away, If for the digits you think so much, your actions speaks louder than your words....why can I ask you do this to me? I would like to rip it apart and walk with it in my hands....than maybe it will realise you seek for it no more!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Food of Love
Slept alone in that huge bed last night, mom, aunt, my little rascal and my maid had gone to my Periamma's place to stay over. "Settle daddy's meals tomorrow". mom had instructed me before she had gone, asked me if I wanted to go as well, passed the offer. I didnt have someone to hug and sleep last night but at least I had space and didnt have to worry about falling off the bed on one turn!
Dad had taken his breakfast by the time I was up, well he gets up around 6ish every morning, does his prayers for an hour, thanks to him, family is well. Went to a turkish place last night, dinner was good, so decided to try out something similar, but dad is vegetarain, so anything I do has to be vegetarian as well. Went through the fridge...hmmm.....decided to cook up some pita filling to be eaten with pita bread. Potatoes, brinjal, tomatoes, capsicum, mock mutton some spices and walla it was done...dad was happy when he entered the kitchen and saw me cooking, must have been thinking "great im gona get something different today", he knows I normally try out new dishes and he's usually my guinea pig! Pita bread, spread some yogurt as i didnt have sour cream, some lettuce, filling, roll, cut into half on a plate and dad'd lunch was served to him at 1130am!
Smsed ma bro, "Come try my pita", my sis in law and him decided to forgo their lunch date and come try my food....i had compliments.....i was smiling from ear to ear....its nice to see people eat and be happy. Dad says i take after my grandpa (his dad), I havent seen him before, but apparently he used to house and feed immigrants from india who had come to s'pore in search of work....my thoughts went out to my baby boy....wonder what he had for lunch today...hmmm..just hope its not maggie...i decided to have a cone of ice cream, a habit I developed with Lesh on sundays....we would grab a cone each and watch tv....today he isnt around, as I was scooping I was smiling to myself....I remembered how my baby boy used to eat his ice cream....in a huge bowl and I wouldnt trade watching that satisfaction, that gleam on his face afterwards...
Need to do some online payments, with my hero gone i thought my expenses would decrease, doesnt seem like it, $450 for visa, $150 for medical, %1000 for tics,$300 for courier.....and not mentioning my credit cards bills....may burnt a hole in my pocket....birthday presents, treats, mothers' day...i'll have to watch my budget.....better keep track....went shopping last saturday, since i was in town.....didnt have time to go to the post office on monday, so got a friend to help me do a registered post....just to ensure its receipt, but I hope someone is home.....my packing is killing me....i havent sent over my stuff yet....got to do it by end of this week at least.....have dinner with amma tonight....her long over due mothers' day dinner.....Need to spend some time with amma before I leave as well, she was the one who took care of my since I was a baby, til I was about 12 yrs old. This is my other family....so when its mothers' day, I have 3 of them in my list, the other is my aunt who lives with us since my younger days....not to mention that her bday and my mom's bday is in May as well......bought my mom a card and gave it to her last sunday, she cried after reading it....told her that I love her even though I seem very distant from the family for the past few years...mom had vouched not to waste the next month by picking an arguemnt with me...lets c....
Dad had taken his breakfast by the time I was up, well he gets up around 6ish every morning, does his prayers for an hour, thanks to him, family is well. Went to a turkish place last night, dinner was good, so decided to try out something similar, but dad is vegetarain, so anything I do has to be vegetarian as well. Went through the fridge...hmmm.....decided to cook up some pita filling to be eaten with pita bread. Potatoes, brinjal, tomatoes, capsicum, mock mutton some spices and walla it was done...dad was happy when he entered the kitchen and saw me cooking, must have been thinking "great im gona get something different today", he knows I normally try out new dishes and he's usually my guinea pig! Pita bread, spread some yogurt as i didnt have sour cream, some lettuce, filling, roll, cut into half on a plate and dad'd lunch was served to him at 1130am!
Smsed ma bro, "Come try my pita", my sis in law and him decided to forgo their lunch date and come try my food....i had compliments.....i was smiling from ear to ear....its nice to see people eat and be happy. Dad says i take after my grandpa (his dad), I havent seen him before, but apparently he used to house and feed immigrants from india who had come to s'pore in search of work....my thoughts went out to my baby boy....wonder what he had for lunch today...hmmm..just hope its not maggie...i decided to have a cone of ice cream, a habit I developed with Lesh on sundays....we would grab a cone each and watch tv....today he isnt around, as I was scooping I was smiling to myself....I remembered how my baby boy used to eat his ice cream....in a huge bowl and I wouldnt trade watching that satisfaction, that gleam on his face afterwards...
Need to do some online payments, with my hero gone i thought my expenses would decrease, doesnt seem like it, $450 for visa, $150 for medical, %1000 for tics,$300 for courier.....and not mentioning my credit cards bills....may burnt a hole in my pocket....birthday presents, treats, mothers' day...i'll have to watch my budget.....better keep track....went shopping last saturday, since i was in town.....didnt have time to go to the post office on monday, so got a friend to help me do a registered post....just to ensure its receipt, but I hope someone is home.....my packing is killing me....i havent sent over my stuff yet....got to do it by end of this week at least.....have dinner with amma tonight....her long over due mothers' day dinner.....Need to spend some time with amma before I leave as well, she was the one who took care of my since I was a baby, til I was about 12 yrs old. This is my other family....so when its mothers' day, I have 3 of them in my list, the other is my aunt who lives with us since my younger days....not to mention that her bday and my mom's bday is in May as well......bought my mom a card and gave it to her last sunday, she cried after reading it....told her that I love her even though I seem very distant from the family for the past few years...mom had vouched not to waste the next month by picking an arguemnt with me...lets c....
Dear GOD.......
Did some packing and realised I had too many things to bring over. Pondered for some time, vacuum packed all my clothes, still have more to go, was clearing the cupboard and came across a box containing letters and cards from the last time I was in Melbourne. Henty Court & Crampton Cresent both in Mill Park & Haines St in North Melbourne, going through the cards and mails gave me a very nostalgic feel, nothing beats receiveing something through snail mail as compared to email. Some from the list still remail, some long gona and lost from touch. Then I stumbled upon the rosary, the stalk of orchid, tummy trimmer and the hair straightener...brought back the good memories in Melbourne a yr back. I remember him saying "Im in the giving mood, so u better grab watever u want", damn I was so stupid.... Shopping with him was fun....even when we were in Malacca, i enjoyed every bit of dressing him up and making sure he looked good when he left home.....he used to ask me to choose his clothes for him......i used to irritate him so much & loved to see him get irritated and annoyed with me, then I would smile on the inside while he walked around with the constipated look of his! my adorable baby.....yeah he was like my big baby...is still..more in my heart.....and who can forget his picnic bag....it was a joy seeing him eat, like baby krishna eating Neiyi but of course being men they would enjoy thier mommy's cooking the best.
Its been a yr, but it seems very real still, he is very much in every vein of mine, so fresh in my memory. Went for a play today and in the cast list, his name was the first....so many things reminded me of him today and I just drifted back to the first time I met him in the airport....memories....
Jeevan called, enquired about me missing in action and wanting to spend time before I left, he is my irritating adorable nanban....very nice boy....received a call from Yayshree, she seems to be doing alright, jobfront still slow she said....asked her if she can help me look for a place to stay....her landlady doesnt let her sublet, said she'll be in the lookout but no promises......student services gives free airport tranfer ONLY in the city! Gosh What do I do......well I'll leave all as it is till mid June maybe, then I'll make the necessary changes.........its nice to hear from people who care about you....but there are some calls you wish would come one day......
GOD? hello U there? Listen, I cant take this anymore, u either erase my memory or give me back my baby boy cos this is damn bloody painful...literally....or maybe its chest pain or mild heart attack that im experiencing hehe ;)
Its been a yr, but it seems very real still, he is very much in every vein of mine, so fresh in my memory. Went for a play today and in the cast list, his name was the first....so many things reminded me of him today and I just drifted back to the first time I met him in the airport....memories....
Jeevan called, enquired about me missing in action and wanting to spend time before I left, he is my irritating adorable nanban....very nice boy....received a call from Yayshree, she seems to be doing alright, jobfront still slow she said....asked her if she can help me look for a place to stay....her landlady doesnt let her sublet, said she'll be in the lookout but no promises......student services gives free airport tranfer ONLY in the city! Gosh What do I do......well I'll leave all as it is till mid June maybe, then I'll make the necessary changes.........its nice to hear from people who care about you....but there are some calls you wish would come one day......
GOD? hello U there? Listen, I cant take this anymore, u either erase my memory or give me back my baby boy cos this is damn bloody painful...literally....or maybe its chest pain or mild heart attack that im experiencing hehe ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
