Delete & Restart

It was a Saturday afternoon, a month back. I was late for an appointment and I was clearing my stuff from the table in the hall to the table in my room. Parents watching TV, a talkshow on Cheating Partners, hosted by Ippadikku Rose. What and Irony, I was thinking. Nephew running around and domestic helper in the midst of her daily duties. Me walking in and out of my room.

"Dom" came a sound, I had tripped on the wire and my tablet was on the ground. Ohh dear! I picked it up and tried to restart. "Windows is unable to load, try to start in safe mode". God! dont do this me me I cried. An sms sent to my TA. "Bring it on monday i'll give it a check, if the problem persists i'll get your hard disk changed", came his reply. "NONONONONO"
"My entire life is in there, you HAVE to help me safe my data. My 7 years' of resources, papers, assignments, photos, proposals, projects, processes, personal documents etc etc etc. EVERYTHING is in there. Ps Pls Pls", I begged.

I had it ALL on the desktop to be saved into my external harddisk that weekend. Before it was done, I had tripped on the wire, the laptop fell and restart was on a loop and windows wasnt loading! The weekend went without any work done. Came Monday, I left the tablet on TA's desk with a note "Pls safe my data, I have no bakup."

Was 2pm, saw him in the staffroom, "Hey did you manage to safe my stuff?" "No I didnt, I dont have the access to do it, so Im re-booting". "WHAT!!!!!! You could have told me, I would have gotten it done elsewhere!" "Ohhh but its too late now, im already re-booting", with that, he looked away and continued with his task.

My mind was blank. I didnt know where to start. My entire PAST was just ERASED. Was it meant to happen? Was THAT the 75% of fate playing its role? "Hey, Its a sign, get out of here ASAP, came a voice." It was my colleague, a close one, a friend I should say.

Was it really a sign? Just weeks prior to that I was asked to leave this country as this isnt my place. "If you can go now, just go, you'll be better off across the ocean, you should have gone when you were 25, what are you still doing here?"

What am I still doing here? Good question. I havent used the 25% of choice that makes up fate. The thought of leaving my friends and family has crossed my mind. What will I do after work? During the weekends? How to roll on the ground with my nephew or squeeze on the bed and watch TV with his constant WHY. Who will say good morning to me or question me when Im late? Its my 4 yr old nephew who does that now.

I was thinking why the incidences that have occured the past year, happened the way they did. SO many questions in my head, so little time to sit and think. I have to make my decisions soon, before my old man changes his mind about sponsoring my studies! Hehe ;)